Your money and your mental health can suffer under a bully boss

Unfortunately, many people have come to view the federal holiday as merely a marker for the end of summer or an opportunity to snag a sale.

But maybe it should also be a time for senior executives and down-line supervisors to examine their management style.

As an intern, I would retreat to the restroom at the back of the newsroom to hide my tears after encounters with one particular editor.

Whenever I saw her approaching my desk, my stomach would knot in anticipation of a discussion that would inevitably make me want to scream or swear. She was mean and harsh, rarely offering a word of encouragement. She made me want to quit.

More recently, a mentally unhealthy work situation prompted my husband to retire earlier than either of us wanted.

We thought quitting would end the stress in our household. But what my husband endured unsettled his soul. His genteel temperament gave way to someone who was easily agitated.

Our marriage suffered because he was suffering. We eventually realized we needed help.

I contacted the employee assistance program at my job, and we were referred to an excellent couple’s therapist who has been assisting us in processing the trauma of a toxic workplace environment. We are so much better now, and my good-natured husband is back.

As we continue to assess what happened and put it behind us, I struggle with letting go of my disdain for managers who make their employees’ lives unbearable and at the managers above them who do little to nothing to stop it.

So, what’s this got to do with personal finance, you might ask?

Well, many people resign — sometimes without another job — because they can no longer tolerate a bullying boss. Others retire sooner than planned, giving up a measure of financial security to preserve their mental health.

Employers pay a cost, too. U.S. businesses lose $1 trillion a year to voluntary turnover, according to a 2019 Gallup report.

“And the most astounding part is that most of this damage is self-inflicted,” the report said.

Conservatively, the cost of replacing an employee can range from one-half to two times the staffer’s annual salary. “A 100-person organization that provides an average salary of $50,000 could have turnover and replacement costs of approximately $660,000 to $2.6 million per year,” Gallup estimated.

Quit rates were high during the pandemic, as many Americans adopted a “life is short” mantra. Lots of them opted to leave rather than deal with a tyrannical supervisor.

In a 2024 report, Gallup found that 42 percent of employees voluntarily exiting say they could have been persuaded to stay.

When asked how, one survey participant said: “Treated me with respect and shown concern for my well being and its employees’ happiness.”

In Gallup’s turnover report, 51 percent of workers are actively searching for new jobs, the highest turnover risk since 2015.

The dissatisfaction — not just with pay but with working conditions — cuts across all categories, from customer service employees to highly professional positions.

An earlier resignation report from Gallup found that “it takes more than a 20 percent pay raise to lure most employees away from a manager who engages them, and next to nothing to poach most disengaged workers.”

Think about that.

Companies are losing people to competitors who don’t need to offer a pay raise, just the prospect of a better working climate.

This Labor Day, I’d like to encourage anyone in management — whether it’s a government agency, nonprofit or private business — to watch episodes of “Ted Lasso.” It’s a good training exercise.

The award-winning Apple TV Plus series stood out not just for its acting and directing but also for what it depicts — a boss who strove to create an emotionally safe workplace.

Ted Lasso is an American football coach hired to run an English soccer team. His charming coaching style created a winning team. Over his office door was a handwritten, slightly crooked sign that simply said, “Believe.”

I like to think the slightly askewed affirmation is an acknowledgment that there will be challenges, but that you can nonetheless manage through them with kindness, respect and optimism.

Lasso’s corny expressions and player pep talks — even after a brutal loss — make you wish there were more bosses like him.

“For me, success is not about the wins and losses,” Lasso says in one episode. “It’s about helping these young fellas be the best versions of themselves on and off the field.”

Ted Lasso is obviously the creation of a room full of writers who captured the characteristics of a great manager. But life can imitate art.

Employees want to be respected. They want to know they are valued.

If your management style deflates staff, you are a bad boss.

Take a cue from Ted Lasso and aim to inspire. That will lead to better financial results and a better workplace.