I posted all over social that my wife cheated on me
DEAR DEIDRE: After my wife cheated on me, I was so angry I told everyone exactly what she had done – but I regret it now that I want to give things another go.
If we get back together I feel I’ll be humiliating myself. I’m 40, she’s 41 and we have two children. We’ve been married for 15 years.
A few weekends ago, she went to a wine bar for her friend’s birthday.
She didn’t come home until the next morning, when she explained she’d been too drunk so had stayed with a mate. I believed her.
But the next day, a friend of mine — who unbeknown to her had been at the same bar — rang to tell me he’d seen her kissing another man. They’d left the bar together.
I was absolutely furious at her betrayal and lies. I went straight to social media and put up a picture of her, saying exactly what she’d done.
When I calmed down, I felt bad about the post. I didn’t want it to get back to my kids, and I realised it also made me look pathetic. But by then the news was out. My wife and I had a furious row.
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She said I should have confronted her, rather than making what happened public. I know she’s right. Since then, we’ve been talking about whether we should split up.
I am still angry but I don’t want to lose my kids. And I do still love her and want to work through things.
But everyone is telling me if I have any pride I should leave.
I feel trapped.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You posted online because you were hurt and angry. That’s understandable.
Feeling embarrassed that everyone knows about your wife’s cheating – as a result of your post – is also very natural.
But pride isn’t everything. You’d have even more regrets if you walked away from your marriage and your kids in order to save face.
Only you and your wife’s opinions matter in your marriage.
If you want to get to the bottom of why she cheated, you’ll need to work on your communication and rescue your relationship. That’s your decision.
Other people will accept your choice. They’ll soon find something else to gossip about. Discuss this with your wife.
It may be helpful to read my support pack Cheating, Can You Get over It? together.