My husband came crawling back three hours after he left me
DEAR DEIDRE: My husband had sex with a woman who has the worst reputation for going with any man who so much as looks at her.
He was so taken in that he left me for her — but came crawling back just three hours later.
I’m 35 and a hairdresser. He’s an estate agent and 39. We had a nice life together and I thought we would have a baby in the next year or so.
But I have been distracted with some family issues lately and have to concede I haven’t had any energy left over for my husband.
My brother is 34 and he’s just come out of hospital after a bad cycling accident. I’ve been preoccupied with visiting him and checking in on my parents.
My husband came home last week and told me we needed to talk.
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He put his head in his hands and said he didn’t feel the same about me anymore and he had been having an affair with one of the lettings agents from work.
I knew who it would be straight away. I know her — she went to school with me.
She’s 36. She always has a man on the go but it never lasts and she dresses very provocatively no matter what the occasion.
Why would he choose her over me? He just apologised, said he was leaving, and packed a bag.
When he put the key in the door later I thought he’d forgotten something, but he walked into the kitchen saying, “I’m so sorry. I’m an idiot. What was I even thinking?”
So he’s back and we are working on things.
I’ve forgiven him but it is hard to move on. What if he gets his head turned by her again?
He says he only wants me but I can’t trust him.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: The person he chose to leave you for says more about him than you.
He realised that what he wanted from a relationship he already had.
He’ll have to prove to you he’s trustworthy. He should have been supportive during your family crisis but decided instead that he couldn’t live without attention.
You’re in the driving seat now. Allow him to try to make it up to you for as long as it takes.
If you’re still struggling after, say, three months, consider talking to a couples counsellor for help.
My support pack on Cheating will show you where to find support.