The mysteries of Melania: Mrs Trump’s memoir

OF DONALD TRUMP’S many contributions to American life, few have been more innovative than that to political elocution. No longer must a politician use one exclamation point when nine are available, nor make a speech intelligible when it could be entertaining. To complain is now standard, to digress divine. Mr Trump says his “weave” oratorical structure is praised by his English professor friends, no doubt numerous.

Perhaps even more intriguing, however, have been the rhetorical offerings of Mr Trump’s wife, Melania, who says almost nothing at all. Now, less than a month before election day, Mrs Trump has published a memoir, “Melania”. To go back to basics, the form of a book demands that words be written and, at least conventionally, that those words convey meaning. “Melania” is an impressive feat of nothingness, as flat as an 182-page volume can be.

It is the culmination of Mrs Trump’s oratorical journey. Her speech at the Republican convention in 2016 borrowed heavily from Michelle Obama’s in 2008. She spoke rarely as First Lady and, in this year’s campaign, has been almost entirely absent, as if someone had decided it best that she be seen, not heard. At this year’s convention, the arena’s macho music gave way to violins and twinkling white lights for Mrs Trump’s entrance. She smiled, beautifully, and said nothing.

Nevertheless, for observers of a certain bent, it has been possible to hope a memoir might give more. Could those swats of Mr Trump’s outreached hand, during his presidency, point to a defiance of her husband and president? Could a book reveal the strongly held opinions behind her curtain of perfect hair? Or might she offer something else entirely, life lessons for her acolytes? Her open letter from July, written after the attempt to assassinate her husband, included some intriguing declarations—a reference to the “earthly realm”, for instance, and the maxim that “Political concepts are simple when compared to us, human beings.”

Alas, “Melania” reveals neither secret firebrand nor Slovenian Yoda. There is instead, a bland journey through Mrs Trump’s childhood, her early days of dating Mr Trump, her work redecorating the White House and, most convincingly, her love for and protection of her son, Barron. As befits the wife of a politician, she does mention politics. She defends abortion rights and explains her opposition to separating children from their parents at the border.

In general, though, she neither wholeheartedly defends nor condemns her husband, instead asserting her right to privacy. Opinions are delivered vaguely, as if with the soft focus of her promotional videos. In her description of the Black Lives Matter protests, in 2020, she does not name George Floyd, referring instead to a “Black Minneapolis resident” killed by police. Of the outcome of the 2020 election, she says, “I am not the only person who questions the results.”

Throughout this, there is no coherent sense of who Mrs Trump is. There is Job-Applicant Melania: “I continue to approach tasks with a methodical mindset, striving for excellence in all that I do.” There is Namaste Melania—“genuine happiness is not found in material possessions, but rather in the depth of self-awareness and self-acceptance”—as well as Material Melania, who enjoys fashion and nice cars, and Martian Melania, who thinks a 20-person customs line at a New York airport is noteworthy for length, rather than its brevity. The book’s most compelling line may be “Driving provides freedom”.

“Melania” is banal. That does not mean it is irrelevant. For years Mr Trump’s style was so distracting that critics discounted his transformation of the political consensus, from immigration to trade. With America on the verge of having either Mrs Trump in the White House again or its first First Gentleman, Mrs Trump has helped redefine the role of the president’s spouse: the job can be whatever that person wants it to be or, in her case, very little. ■