My stepmother is trying to sabotage mine and my dad’s relationship
DEAR DEIDRE: My stepmother is doing everything in her power to sabotage mine and my dad’s relationship.
I’ve tried to get through to him but he refuses to see the truth and keeps blindly taking her side.
My dad is 58 and I’m his 30-year-old son. My mum died and a couple of years later he met his new wife. She's 52.
Initially, she seemed like a nice woman but over time she’s slowly revealed her true colours.
She's completely isolated me and at the same time whispers negative things about me to my dad.
Just a few months ago I rang up to ask what we’d be doing for his birthday, and she told me that they were going away for the weekend.
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So when the day came around I was upset to discover she’d arranged a family meal and then told Dad, I chose not to show up.
I know if I ring his home line that she will pick up and then ‘forget’ to tell him that I’ve called.
My dad has grown cold towards me and thinks I don’t care about him.
The last thing I want is to lose him, but I’m starting to think I might have no choice.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s likely that your stepmother feels threatened by your closeness with your dad and is jealous of the relationship you share.
Unfortunately, you can't know how much influence she is exerting over him and what she’s saying behind closed doors. It could also be that your dad is going along with her for a quiet life.
Approaching this won’t be easy, but if you can find a moment with him whilst she’s not there simply tell him that you miss him and would like to see more of him.
Avoid the temptation to criticise his wife – the last thing you need is to give her a reason to dislike you.
I’m sending you my support pack Stepfamily Problems to help.