My partner is trying to rule the roost – before he’s even moved in
DEAR DEIDRE: I am beginning to think it’s a bad idea for my partner to move in with me and my children after he said they can’t have their friends around for sleepovers.
I’m 46 and my partner’s 49. We’ve been together for almost three years. We have a good relationship, except when it comes to my children.
He has two grown-up sons but rarely sees them. I am not exactly sure why.
My children are 20, 17 and 15. My partner wants to move in and has been talking about it for a while. But I worry, if he’s talking like this before he moves in, that he will be really strict when here.
I have said I can compromise on some things, as it’s going to be his home too.
But my children aren’t going to like someone coming in and telling them their friends are not welcome. My partner’s adamant that sleepovers would never happen, even occasionally.
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DEIDRE SAYS: He will make himself very unpopular if he tries to lay down the law.
There’s always room for compromise. Having friends over once a month is not unreasonable.
If his own children didn’t have friends over it could be that he simply isn’t used to it, especially if he has lived on his own and likes his own space.
Or perhaps he is jealous of your relationship with your children and feels threatened.
Talk to him about how your children will feel about him. If he can’t meet you halfway, it may not be a good idea for him to move in.
