DEAR DEIDRE: My son is married to a very opinionated woman, who ruins any time we spend with them.
I am 58, my husband is 61. Our son and his wife are in their early thirties and have been married for five years.
I find myself having to bite my lip at the things she says.
My son invited us to their house for Easter. My daughter-in-law asked me to help with lunch.
The instant I had got up from the sofa, she was giving me her opinions on how to peel the vegetables and set the table.
At the same time, we’ve noticed that no matter what the conversation might be, she thinks we’re having a go at her.
There is never any dig. It’s all in her head. I have tried to explain but she takes no notice and carries on.
It made us feel very awkward. Nobody can have a conversation with her, as she does not listen to anyone’s view except her own.
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DEIDRE SAYS: How sad. It’s tough for a family when one person seems to thrive on causing friction.
Maybe her relationship with you is reproducing the one she had with her mother, but that doesn’t make it less hurtful.
Try to look for her good qualities instead of criticising the bad. You can’t change your daughter-in-law but you can change how you react to her.
My support pack Standing Up For Yourself will help you handle her assertively.
Your son could benefit from reading it too.
