DEAR DEIDRE: A flirty colleague has started sending me unwanted explicit videos of herself. I’ve got a girlfriend so I was really shocked.
I was tasked with training this woman when she first started in my team. She’s 23 and seemed really keen to get stuck into the job.
I love my job, working for a charity which supports families who have been traumatised by crime.
I’m a man of 36 and my girlfriend is 31. She’s been suspicious of my colleague right from the beginning but I always gave her the benefit of the doubt, thinking she was just being friendly.
She’ll sometimes send a text over the weekend and ask what I’m doing. If she has a day off, she’ll text me saying, ‘Did you miss me?’
My partner would get cross about it saying, “She’s so inappropriate. She’s crossing a line.” I’d tell her she was only joking.
My colleague then bought me an expensive watch for my birthday. It was embarrassing to open it in front of everyone. I didn’t dare show it to my partner.
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My partner was asleep when the first video came through on my phone. It was of my colleague dancing in her underwear and then she took off her bra, gave a wiggle and blew me a kiss.
I deleted it straight away.
Since then she has sent nude images and explicit sexts. I’ve deleted them all.
My partner has a lot of insecurities and is convinced I’ll leave her for this woman but I have zero interest.
My colleague has been on annual leave this week and I haven’t heard a thing from her. My girlfriend has been like a different woman - so much happier.
Still I’m dreading my colleague returning to work and I don’t know how to handle the situation.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: There will always be situations at work which make you feel uncomfortable but rather than ignore them and hope they will go away, it’s much better to deal with them straight away.
This trainee is behaving inappropriately, cyber flashing you and her behaviour amounts to sexual harassment.
She must be told to stop. I would urge you to report her to your HR department and they should make provision to investigate your allegations and support you.
If she sends any more inappropriate messages, you would be wise to keep them to prove your case.
You can find further support through Acas (acas.org.uk, 0300 123 1100) which helps with any workplace issues.