Things go pear-shaped when I get intimate with my partner

DEAR DEIDRE: My brain seems to trigger an erection when I’m inactive.

It baffles me because I can’t get one when I’m being intimate.

I’m a fit 61-year-old man. I go swimming and play walking football every week. I also go hiking.

I’m divorced and have recently met somebody new online. She’s 57.

We’ve had six dates and the last couple of times we’ve ended up in bed but I was mortified when I couldn’t perform.

She was understanding and full of reassurance when I felt embarrassed.

I put it down to nerves the first time but it happened the second time, too.

Sometimes, though, I get woken up with a strong erection and I don’t understand it. Why can’t my body be like this when I want it to be?

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DEIDRE SAYS: Testost­erone levels are at their highest in the early hours of the morning and many people wake up with an erection.

That’s a good sign – everything is working as it should be.

You may be feeling subconsciously anxious about sex with a new partner and unfortunately, because this has happened once, it can happen again.

If this is a new thing to you? Do have a check-up with your GP?

If you get the all-clear, my support pack Erection Problems will show you how to get your mojo back.

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