My wife makes no time for sex and blames the kids and I am so frustrated
DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife says she has no time for sex and pushes me away whenever I try to initiate it.
I am 37 and she is 35. We have been married for ten years and have two children, aged six and four.
My wife is not one bit interested in making love.
I’ve repeatedly tried talking to her about it but she just insists it is not her thing now that she has had the children.
She leaves me feeling very sexually frustrated.
I get very horny quite often, which normally ends up with me pleasuring myself when I am alone at night.
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I have never cheated on her or had a chance to.
But to be honest, if a sexually attractive woman came on to me, I don’t think I’d be able to resist the temptation.
My wife has put on a bit of weight and while I’ve tried to encourage her to go to the gym and exercise, she says because she looks after the children during the week and works weekends, there is no time – for sex or fitness.
We are both busy but surely it is always possible to make time if you care about each other.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Your sex life went downhill after your children came along.
But you are right – it is always possible to make time for intimacy if you prioritise getting close to each other.
Even when we care about our partner, it can be easy to lose that connection.
It may be that your wife feels less attractive, especially if she has put on weight.
Talk to her and explain how much this is affecting you.
Ask her if there is something bothering her that could be causing her loss of libido, and if she would consider getting help.
My support packs Saving Your Sex Life and Reviving A Woman’s Sex Drive should help you see a way through.