I hadn’t spoken to my sister in years, and now it’s too late

DEAR DEIDRE: My sister has died and I didn’t get the chance to say goodbye. I feel devastated.

She was 50 and lived in France. I’m 45 and have a lovely husband and two sons.

I have never had much in my life and my sister seemed to have it all.

We fell out five years ago when we went to stay with her and my sons damaged a sofa.

They were drunk and spilled red wine on it and I tried to defend them. We left with bad feeling and I’ll admit I was jealous of her.

We have hardly spoken since but my niece, who is 27, called me to tell me that my sister was in hospital.

She had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She died before I could even get a flight booked.

I feel full of guilt that we never had a chance to be friends again. I can’t stop crying and I’m going to miss her.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Of course you are. It’s very sad that you didn’t get the chance to make amends.

But it’s not too late to talk to your niece and her father about how wonderful your sister was.

If you are going to the funeral, make a plan to see them separately so you have a chance to talk to them about how sad you have found the whole situation.

Take some photographs and any mementoes you think they would like to see which may give them some comfort.

You’ll find good counselling through my support pack on Bereavement.

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