My ex and his mum have conveniently forgotten the truth about our relationship
DEAR DEIDRE: Both my ex and his mother refuse to admit the relationship I had with him was abusive.
They insist it was all in my head – they are in denial.
Whenever I raise the subject they insist the relationship is in the past and tell me to forget about it.
I am 32 and my ex is 34. We were together for five years and have a three-year-old daughter.
Recently my ex and his mum have become more involved as my ex wants to see our daughter. Everything is much more stressful now.
I am trying my best to co-parent with him but I find it really tough sometimes.
He was abusive and the fact that no one acknowledges that is hard. I cannot forget. The memories are always there.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Being in denial is a defence mechanism against facing up to the uncomfortable truth about what was happening in your relationship. His mum is complicit in this.
Your ex isn’t taking responsibility for his behaviour. He may be ashamed or feel guilty.
His mum wrongly believes her son can do no wrong and his upbringing was perfect, anything otherwise raises questions about her parenting. It’s easier for both of them to live in denial.
Please get some support for yourself and advice on how to set up your access so that you and your daughter are protected. Women’s Aid (womensaid.org.uk) will be able to help.
