I hated my lavish £40k wedding so we’re doing it all again at Gretna Green – I’ve already got my £30 dress for the re-do
A GUTTED bride has revealed her £40,000 wedding "ruined her life" - and she's now planning a cheap 're-do' ceremony at Gretna Green
Lucinda Rose, 39, was over the moon when her partner Ian Brown, 43, popped the big question last January after 16 months of dating.
They booked a venue for September - and Lucinda told Ian she'd plan the whole thing.
But she admitted organising the big day proved so stressful that it left her "broken" and unable to talk about it for three months after.
Lucinda said she felt pressure to create the 'perfect wedding', inspired by Hollywood films and influencers' Instagram reels.
She booking everything from fireworks and a string quartet to an ice cream van and even a horse and carriage.
She continued working full-time and filled every extra waking minute with calls, emails, bookings and organising details - even sacrificing sleep.
By the time the big day rolled around, the bride was so overwhelmed she couldn't even focus on her own wedding, she said.
Lucinda, a child psychologist and parenting coach from Frodsham, Cheshire, said: "The wedding took over my life from the second we booked the venue.
"We paid this massive deposit so there was a lot of pressure to get it right - down to the specific flowers, catering, decorations and the little details.
"It was a massive mental and financial load and it just kept snowballing.
"I started to feel a sense of dread about it - and on the actual day I could hardly focus.
"Everything on the day went perfectly but I couldn't even speak about it after - the wedding ruined my life for three months.
"It's this whole societal thing. As women, we're taught to want the day to be perfect - but at the end of the day, life isn't a Disney movie."
Lucinda and Ian, a civil servant, met on a dating site in September 2021.
The couple booked their dream venue and Lucinda set to work pulling off her dream wedding, inspired by films such as Father Of The Bride.
Lucinda's mother agreed to help financially and they originally invited 50 guests - but soon the guest list had hit 120.
She said: "Because it was already so expensive, I decided to try and do a lot myself.
"But even the tiny details you don't think about, like bagging up confetti, and decanting shots of limoncello into little bottles, it took hours."
The once small, £15k affair "became an event" - as Lucinda's plans continued to become more and more elaborate.
Suddenly their spending had neared £40k which raised the pressure even higher - as she wanted to make sure the money her family had contributed wasn't wasted.
She said: "People talk about the wedding blues but it was literally burnout - a lack of any emotion - just exhaustion.
"I wouldn't let Ian speak about it and I avoided talking to anyone because I knew they'd ask about it.
"When I finally discussed it with Ian, I couldn't verbalise why I was so broken, and I felt guilty and ashamed about it."
I started to feel a sense of dread about it - and on the actual day I could hardly focus.
Lucinda Rose
The couple are now looking forward to celebrating their one-year anniversary with a modest ceremony in Scotland.
Lucinda says: “I long to elope with Ian on our anniversary, to Gretna Green.
“I love him more than ever, and want a simple wedding just for us.
“I’ve already got a dress, which I bought as a back-up wedding gown, but this one was only £30, which is the sort of wedding I really am having this time.”
Ian added: “Initially I wanted to be involved in the planning of the wedding but it took on a life of its own.
“I was more concerned about Lucinda’s health.
“If I could have stopped it all and saved her from the anguish and pain she was putting herself through then I would have.
“At the same time I loved the day. I soaked it all up and it was the best day of my life.
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“But I was so worried about Lucinda after the wedding.
“I’m looking forward to a second wedding that’ll be focused on us.”