My husband has run off with lover the same age as our eldest daughter
DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband has moved into our motorhome and won’t tell me where he is.
I’m convinced he is using it to have sex with his lover who is the same age as our eldest daughter.
It is a bitter pill to swallow as we had so many happy family memories in the motorhome taking our children all around Europe.
I am 46 and my husband is 48. We have been together for almost 25 years and have two daughters aged 23 and 21.
In the past he has messaged other women and ran up debts with no explanation.
He always made excuses that sounded believable and stupidly I fell for them all.
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My suspicions began when he started taking the motorhome out for “day trips” on his own — a new development.
Then I came across paperwork for a loan he had taken out.
He denied he was cheating for months, saying I was paranoid.
But when I overheard him on the phone with a woman in the garden shed, the game was up.
It turned out he has been seeing her for over a year, since just after my mum died suddenly and our youngest was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.
The day that I learned the truth, he moved into the motorhome and left.
Now he refuses to tell me where he is. He says I am controlling and possessive.
I imagine he is living with this woman and enjoying his life.
I am really struggling to come to terms with his behaviour.
I really feel worthless at the moment and just want to sit and cry.
It has been six months since he left and I still feel so low.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Your husband has treated you appallingly, blamed you and left with no explanation.
For now, take it a day at a time and try to look after yourself.
He is running away from reality, from your daughter’s disease, your bereavement and, it seems, your relationship breakdown.
While you can’t force him to step up, you can work towards understanding what you need and making your own plans, whether that means separating or becoming more independent.
Your husband will have to face the music sooner or later.
Lean on your friends and find comfort wherever you can.
My support pack Male Mid-Life Crisis can help you make sense of his reckless behaviour.