What is the 3 month rule in dating? Meaning explained

DATING has changed a lot, even in just the past few years, and sometimes it feels as though the rules are changing daily.

Hence the viral three-month dating rule on TikTok serves as a failsafe test to determine whether a relationship will succeed or not.

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What is the 3 month rule in dating?

The first time you start dating someone can be an exciting period, especially when you feel that the chemistry is just right.

However, the first three months are supposedly a "honeymoon phase," when you're excited about a new relationship but still don't know the other person well enough to make a lifetime commitment.

Experts say these 90 days should be the trial period every relationship goes through to decide whether the person is meant for you.

If there are relationship issues that signal it just isn't going to work, you might choose to cut your losses and move on.

TikTok users are swearing by this "probationary period," as the trend has garnered around 40 million views.

According to this logic, after three months, it becomes clear whether someone genuinely likes you or if they were just dating you out of loneliness, boredom, or to boost their self-esteem.

Is the 3 month rule the same as the 3 month itch?

The three-month itch occurs when a couple has been dating for about three months and one partner suddenly decides that they want either to exit the relationship or to shift things from casual to committed.

According to research by dating app Inner Circle, 68% of daters have had a relationship end after three months. 

This is usually due to something called the "feelings gap".

The study also suggests that men generally take longer than women to determine whether they truly want to commit to their relationships.

Half of men admit they tend to "act first and think later" in relationships, compared to only 38% of women.

On top of this, 59% of respondents agree that women are more thoughtful than men in choosing a potential partner.

Men appear more prone to making spontaneous decisions, often reassessing their choices around the same three-month mark.

However, when things feel less than right, "ghosting" enters the arena, abruptly cutting all ties and communication with the person they've been seeing.

What is the 6 month rule in dating?

Six months into your relationship, you and your partner will probably have accumulated a number of significant memories together, having navigated through various phases of dating.

With each passing day, you’re likely growing more comfortable with your partner, and you're beginning to notice the small quirks that you might not have spotted before.

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You may have overcome many hurdles during this time, but it might be the moment to evaluate whether you're ready to fully commit, having moved past the initial dating phase.

At this stage, couples have probably developed a deeper emotional bond, feeling increasingly secure, at ease, and connected with each other, given the time they've spent sharing experiences, thoughts, and emotions.

Couples might have uncovered shared interests, values, and objectives, while also gaining an understanding of each other's personalities, idiosyncrasies, and preferences.

Some people may even meet the parents and friends during the first six months of the relationship, demonstrating serious commitment.

However, if a couple spends most of their time arguing, it might be a sign of incompatibility.

What is the 9 month rule in dating?

The third stage of the relationship is the nine-month mark, which psychologist Savannah Gamblin describes as the "realisation" stage.

The TikToker, who posts from the handle @savannah_gamblin, regularly posts tips and advice on dating.

Gamblin believes that people cannot fully understand their relationship until they have navigated through all three of these stages.

Posting a video on TikTok, she wrote: "Third: realisation stage. 'Oh s***, this is what I'm dealing with'.

"Oftentimes during this realisation stage, we go back to the honeymoon phase and we're like, 'But that's what it's like.'

"No, no, no. That's an illusion. Realisation stage is where you keep having the same fight, and the same problems arise, and we need to learn how to get ourselves out of that."

The video has been well received on the platform, garnering 7.6 million views and 1.5 million likes, with one user commenting: "The realisation phase is when you genuinely have to make the decision if it's the relationship you want! Communication during this phase WILL make or break your relationship."