My fiancée is claiming that I cheated on her after dancing with a bridesmaid at a wedding
DEAR DEIDRE: I DANCED with a bridesmaid at a wedding and now my fiancée is screaming blue murder and she’s claiming that I cheated on her.
She’s being so unreasonable, she’s making me think I might as well have done the dirty on her.
I’m 35, and she’s 33. We’ve been together on and off for seven years.
This has flared up since I went to my best friend’s wedding.
It was a small affair, with only immediate family, groomsmen and bridesmaids allowed to attend.
Now she’s threatening to end our relationship because I have my arm around one of the bridesmaids in a wedding photo.
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I posed alongside the other groomsmen and just happened to be on the end, next to the bridesmaids.
During the first dance, all the groomsmen danced with the bridesmaids and I was snapped dancing with the same bridesmaid.
A few years ago, we went through a pretty rough patch, and I started seeing another woman. I came to my senses and returned to my fiancée.
I had sex several times with this other woman, so I don’t understand how a simple photo is apparently the end of us.
My girlfriend has been to loads of events on her own and I’ve never accused her of anything like this.
Is this fair on me? Did I cheat on her?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Cheating doesn’t need to be physically infidelity, it can also include emotional or intentional disloyalty.
But your intentions weren’t sexual or romantic so, no, you haven’t done anything wrong.
Your fiancée, however, is highly sensitive to any suggestion that your eyes have wandered elsewhere, which shows that she feels very insecure.
This is likely to be linked to your fling during the break in your relationship.
If you want to make things work with her, you will need to reassure her that she has nothing to worry about.
My support packs on Jealousy and How To Look After Your Relationship will help you both.
If she is unable to start to trust you and refuses to listen, then you need to think about whether she is the right partner for you.
Getting married is a huge step and you will need to agree on these boundaries before committing to a life together.