One glass of wine turns my partner into a beast
DEAR DEIDRE: When he drinks beer, my partner is fine, but with wine, he becomes someone else.
I’m 33 and he is 35. We have been together for three years and it’s been mostly great.
We live together after he bought a flat and welcomed me into it. He says it’s mine too, even though it has not been made legal. But when he drinks wine or champagne, my partner goes crazy.
He accuses me of using him and taking his money or says I am lazy. I work part-time, look after the flat and take care of his two dogs.
When he sobers up the next day and realises how he has behaved he’s so apologetic but it has dawned on me that this may never stop – or may even get worse.
I am thinking about leaving him because I can’t get his behaviour out of my mind.
He says he loves me but I am scared. He was physically abusive once and I am having sleepless nights just thinking about it all. I don’t know what else to do.
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DEIDRE SAYS: You are in a very toxic relationship. Despite the fact this only happens when he has been drinking wine, he is abusing you.
He needs to get help and unless he is willing to face up to his abusive behaviour, your instincts are right, this pattern is likely to get worse.
Women’s Aid (womensaid.org.uk) can help you. My support packs Dealing With A Problem Drinker and Abusive Partner offer more information.
