I’m a mum & have decided to minimal parenting – I won’t make my child the centre of the universe & cut back on play time
CHOOSING a parenting style will be totally unique to you as a person.
Whether it’s using strict techniques or soft ones, raising the little ones to the best of your ability is what is most important.
In England, according to experts the most common parenting style is the authoritative rather than authoritarian.
This parenting style involves a more nurturing, responsive and supportive approach - yet it is set with firm limits for their children.
Parents will attempt to control their child’s behaviour by explaining and discussing rules, along with reasoning.
They will listen to a child’s viewpoint but not always accept it.
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Authoritarian is a much more strict style of parenting which will place high expectations on their child.
With this style, parents will set rigid rules with no explanation and expect their child to obey them or face severe punishment.
And one parent is just starting to realise her parenting style after visiting Italy and noticing their approach to raising children.
Amber took to her TikTok page ‘Ciao AmberC’ to reveal her revelation and how she is now looking to completely switch up her techniques with her children.
Talking face to camera, the mum of two said: “So when I actually started doing less as a parent is when I started to actually love parenthood and then funny enough was to actually be able to do more.
“I feel like this is the vibe in American parenting is that the mum should just always be giving more like anything that’s going on with the kid.”
American style parenting is similar to what is most popular in the UK, which is authoritative.
Amber continues to explain what she means about American parenting.
She says: “The answer is the kid probably needs more, needs more attention, needs more one on one time, like we should do what the kid wants.
“This is a problem because there’s so many millennial parents like myself now that just want their kid to have the greatest childhood on the planet.
“So that, mixed with us thinking we just need to give everything, it can be a dangerous combination.
“About two years in, I reached a breaking point.
"I knew this wasn’t working for me personally because I was miserable, but also my kids weren’t acting like angels.
“So I’m like, I don’t know if this is really paying off and then simultaneously I went on a trip to Italy and I saw no mums parenting how we parent in America.
“First of all, in Italy there’s way less kids focussed activities, like specific kids stuff.
“Like the parents don’t, you know there’s some, but the parents don’t fully immerse themselves in kids stuff, like playing on the playground and cutting out kids stuff for hours, or playing blockies with their kid on the floor.
“They do much more family stuff, adult stuff and the kids just come with them.
“I saw nobody making their kid the centre of the universe, they were just together instead and the kids were so well behaved.”
The video has since gone viral with over 27k people liking it.
Hundreds of other parents also rushed to the comments section to share their thoughts, with many agreeing with Amber.
One wrote: “I’m reading a book called Hunt, Gather, Parent right now that has totally this vibe. It’s changing my life.”
Another added: “My son is an only child and always begging me to play. I was an only child and so lonely, so I give him all my attention and it's killing me.”
A third said: “The millennial generation is healing from their trauma by being the parent they never had.”
A fourth wrote: “I think it’s important for kids to be involved in their own raising, and I’ve always patented this way.”
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Another mum said: “I buy my toddler toys hoping it will get me some independent play time but it doesn’t and he just wants to be doing what I do.”
A sixth mum simply added: “Not American parenting but worldwide parenting.”