I planned the wedding of my dreams and paid for the whole thing in advance – who cares that I didn’t have a groom

WHEN it comes to planning a wedding, every bride knows it pays to be prepared.

However, Laura Cruise took her organisation to the next level when she planned her own nuptials - to the point where she didn’t even have a groom yet.

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But despite the lack of proposal Laura, 48, from Bedford, had everything arranged from her wedding dress to her even booking and paying for her venue. 

Laura, a business coach and mentor, said she knew she wanted to get married in July 2020, so in 2019, she decided to “take matters into my own hands” by securing the date at a registry office.

She and her partner Martin, 50, had been together since 2013, and while they wanted to get married there was “no urgency” about their plans.

So Laura took matters into her own hands.

Plans in place

The mum of three then planned a proposal, which included telling Martin the big day was already booked.

Laura, who is the author of Dream It And Do It: Six Steps Into Your Own Dream Life And Business, said: “The lady at the registry office laughed nervously when I told her I wanted to book a date but that Martin didn’t know about it so we couldn’t come in straight away to complete the paperwork.

“She said that she would give me a refund if he said no. I wonder if they say things like that to men?

“We both wanted to get married but we had been busy renovating our house and juggling our teenagers so it never seemed to be the right time to get it organised.”

Laura and Martin, who have both been married before and have five children between them, first met in 2013 at a local pub. 

Sealing the deal

But it wasn’t love at first sight as the pair thought they wouldn’t like each other.

In October 2014, they started dating and moved in together. The pair soon started talking about getting married, but six years later, no plans had been made.

Laura said: “I wasn’t waiting for Martin to propose but I started getting keener once we’d finished renovating the house because I was like, ‘come on! What are we going to do now? Let’s seal the deal!’ I knew I wanted to be married again.

“I wanted to get married in 2020 and I also knew that to make that happen I would have to be the one to propose. 

“Martin was ambivalent about it. He wasn’t bothered either way but he knew it was important to me. 

“So I booked the registry office on July 18th 2019, to get married on July 18th 2020. He didn’t know at that stage. 

“I told nobody, because I didn’t want to talk to others about it when he didn’t know. 

“When the lady mentioned cancelling I just laughed. I knew he did want to get married so it was simply a case of logistics.”

Surprise proposal

Laura then set about arranging her proposal to Martin, arranging a meal at a nearby pub in Bedford in August 2019.

After dinner, Laura handed Martin a set of cards she had printed with all the reasons she loved him. The last but one card said ‘Will you marry me?’ And the final card said ‘PS. It’s on July 18 at 1pm, hope you can make it’. 

Laura said: “All our kids were away with their other parents so we went to this beautiful pub. I was really nervous. I suppose as a bloke would be?

“I was a bit unsettled, not least because I was wearing a dress that was too tight! I was nervous because it was something I knew that he didn't and I wanted to share it with him. 

“I didn't think he'd say no because we'd already bought a house together and I knew we were committed in life anyway.”

Laura added: “After dinner, we went and sat on a nice sofa and I told him that I’d got him a present. He asked why as it wasn’t either his birthday or an anniversary.

“Then he started to read the cards and I think he was confused at first! He read that I thought he was a great dad, a fantastic stepdad, kind, loving and a great man then it got to the ‘will you marry me?’ card followed by the one that explained I’d already booked it and I think he was just in complete shock. 

“He knew absolutely nothing! We both cried because it was a big emotional moment.

“After reading the cards, he asked me if I was serious. I said yes! The rest is history. Friends and family were not surprised as it was a very ‘Laura’ thing to do. 

“I’m so glad I proposed. I didn’t need a grand gesture or a ring, I just wanted to be married. More women should do it!” 

Laura explained that Martin was thrilled that she’d progressed with the plans especially as it’s not his natural area of strength to arrange surprises. Whereas Laura thrives in making plans and describes herself as a “real doer”. Martin happily went along with it and was pleased that Laura was making it happen.

Neither of them had rings - instead Laura now has a hammered rose gold band with diamonds in it for her combined engagement and wedding ring. 

She said: “It felt a bit weird the day after we got engaged as we were on our own.

"Our kids were away so we didn't tell anybody because we wanted to tell the children first. 

“I asked if we should go shopping for an engagement ring but it just felt odd. In the end, I didn’t even want one!” 

Due to the timing of the Coronavirus lockdown, their wedding plans also got rearranged. 

It was going to be low key as they’d arranged to have a registry office ceremony followed by lunch with 19 friends and family followed by a party with 120 guests. 

Happily ever after

But instead on their big day on July 18th 2020, Laura and Martin walked to the registry office, said ‘I do’ with no flowers or music due to Covid restrictions, and emerged 20 minutes later a married couple.

They then walked home, holding hands, with people beeping as they drove past to celebrate. 

That evening, they enjoyed a grazing table at home with champagne and danced the night away in their kitchen. 

The wedding cost £3,000 and Laura described it as “fairly low-key” because it was a second marriage for both of them. 

She even walked down the registry office herself after getting ready at a friend’s house. 

She said: “We were planning the wedding and had everything booked, then we went into lockdown.

"We had a difficult few months where we had no idea if we could get married or not, then two-and-a-half weeks before the original wedding date we finally got the go ahead. 

“We ended up getting married with the teeniest amount of people, just eleven including us, with a huge number of friends cheering us into the registry office and when we came out. 

“We then walked home with cars beeping as they passed as it’s not often you see a bride and groom down the street! Then, we celebrated in our kitchen. It was tiny, it was low-key and perfect. 

“I like being the centre of attention but he wouldn't have been comfortable with anything big so it suited us.”

Laura and Martin then planned to throw a party on their first anniversary, but when it came to it, they didn’t bother because they didn’t feel they needed to. 

“I have always been an action taker,” said Laura. “If I want something, I will make it happen. In my business I help women to see that they can make changes in their life, without waiting for others to make the decision for them.”

Their familymoon, a two-week break to Singapore and Bali, was also cancelled due to lockdown and instead, Laura used the money to create a home office at the bottom of her garden. 

She’s glad she proposed and couldn’t be happier with how her wedding panned out. She’d even encourage other women to take a leaf out of her book. 

Laura said: “It's not wrong to want your partner to propose to you. But if there is something you want, then you should be able to take that into your hands to create it.

“That’s what I did with my own business, with getting married and with all the decisions that I've made. I'm saying, this is what I want and I’ll make it happen. 

“People might think it’s more about the romance of the man or the woman proposing but actually, I'm glad that I took the decision that I made. 

“Taking decisive action is fantastic, and I honestly couldn't be happier!”

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