Lover wouldn’t let me touch her after night of passion – I feel like a fool

DEIDRE SAYS: AFTER a wonderful night together, I was rejected by my new lover.

She said it was the first night she’d spent with a man since her late husband took his own life a decade ago, and she’d realised she didn’t want a relationship. I am struggling to move on.

I’m 71 and this woman is 69.

We met through mutual friends and got on well. We had so much in common.

After a few months we went away for a week, and the first night was great.

It ended up with us having sex and falling asleep in each other’s arms.

In the morning she acted coldly and wouldn’t let me touch her.

Then she told me she couldn’t do long-term relationships but we could meet occasionally as friends.

I said if we were parting, I would have to cut all contact.

Since then, I’ve tried dating other women but I can’t let my guard down. I feel like a fool.

DEIDRE SAYS: Your ex was dealing with a traumatic loss and didn’t anticipate the complex emotions spending the night with you would stir in her.

She probably felt guilty, like she had betrayed her husband’s memory.
What happened is not a rejection of you.

She clearly liked you a lot – she’s just not ready for love.

But there is someone else out there for you, if you’ll open your heart to them.

My support pack, Moving On, will help you.