Hidden beer bottles revealed my husband’s addiction

DEAR DEIDRE: Empty wine and beer bottles hidden in weird cupboards all around the house tell me my husband is doing nothing to cut down his drinking.

He has admitted he has a drink problem but he won’t get help. He reckons he can sort it out on his own but over the last couple of years things have become much worse.

It is off the scale. I am 45 and my husband is 47. We have been together for 20 years. I have tried talking to him when he is sober but he won’t discuss it and becomes defensive.

I have cried and shouted at him to show him how this affects me but nothing gets through to him.

He is a different person when he is drunk and makes me do things of a sexual nature which I hate. 

If I don’t do what he wants, I get the silent treatment for days because he knows that affects me more than if he were to shout at me.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Nobody should be forced into doing anything sexually against their will. You are perfectly entitled to refuse, no matter how he behaves towards you afterwards.

This is sexual assault under UK law. Being drunk is no defence and I would urge you to contact Rape Crisis for support (www.rapecrisis.org.uk, 0808 802 9999).

My support pack Have You Been Raped? will help you to think this through. 

You can get support for his drinking also from Adfam (adfam.org.uk) who help the families of alcoholics.

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