Newcastle thrash Sheffield United 8-0 as Alexander Isak caps humiliation

For Newcastle United, this was quite the riposte. How would they cope with the exertions of midweek trips to Europe’s elite, now those are back on the calendar, for the first time in a decade? For rivals hoping for a slip-up and others wondering how they would fare, a trip to winless Sheffield United provided a banana skin ripe for the occasion. Or maybe not. Newcastle blew the Blades to pieces.

It was in effect game over inside 31 minutes, by which point Eddie Howe’s side were coasting, three goals to the good. But Newcastle were relentless, bloodthirsty and ended up bludgeoning the hosts to the tune of eight goals to nil, their biggest Premier League away win in top-flight history. Stuart McCall, the Sheffield United assistant manager, could not bear to look as the substitute Alexander Isak wheeled away in celebration after adding the eighth.

After Miguel Almirón added the sixth on 68 minutes, sweeping home after exchanging passes with Bruno Guimarães and ripping through the heart of the hosts’ absent three-man defence, it was hard not to feel for Paul Heckingbottom and his side as Newcastle readied a triple substitution. Signed for a combined £160m, enter Alexander Isak, Sandro Tonali and Tino Livramento, the latter for his debut. Last weekend Sheffield United were guilty of time-wasting at Tottenham – their attempts to eke out a precious victory backfiring deep into 12 minutes of second-half stoppage time – but here they could not wait to be put out of their misery.

Worse still, Sheffield United’s secretary can expect correspondence from the Football Association in their inbox after supporters threw missiles at the Newcastle players as they celebrated Sven Botman’s deft header from Kieran Trippier’s superb free-kick, the third goal for those who could be forgiven for losing count. Botman and his teammates headed to the nearest corner flag, in front of the Kop Stand, and Elliot Anderson was struck by a bottle that exploded as it cannoned off his left foot. A few other bottles were launched towards the celebrating Newcastle players.

It was hard to believe the first 20 minutes were part of the same game. Newcastle had actually begun fairly flat and Luke Thomas, the Sheffield United wing-back on loan from Leicester, squandered two decent chances to open the scoring, the second coming after James McAtee, on loan from Manchester City, played a delightful outside-of-the-boot cross in from the right flank.

Newcastle had to contend with Harvey Barnes departing prematurely with a muscle injury but his replacement, Anthony Gordon, crafted the opener for Sean Longstaff and scored a peach to make it five just after the hour. Anderson fed Gordon on the edge of the Sheffield United 18-yard box and Gordon bounced inside and curled a beautiful right-foot strike into the bottom corner. “Geordie boys, taking the piss,” came the chant from a delirious away end.

By the end, the contentiousness around the first goal felt an awful long time ago. Gordon appeared to handle the ball as he kept play in on the byline before picking out Longstaff, who swept a first-time shot into the net. Even Longstaff seemed unsure as he embraced Gordon but the goal was cleared by the officials.

There was bedlam in the away end when Dan Burn lost Ahmed Ahmedhodzic at a corner to head in Newcastle’s second. Callum Wilson, who added Newcastle’s fourth 11 minutes into the second half, could have had a first-half hat-trick. But he registered his 15th goal in his past 18 league games with a diving header from Trippier’s cross. There was still significantly more pain to for Sheffield United stomach.