I want my wife to humiliate me by having sex with another man
DEAR DEIDRE: All I can think about is watching my wife have sex with another man.
We did it once, years ago, and I’ve never forgotten the thrill of that experience. But we’re older now. and I don’t know how to suggest to my wife that we try it again.
I’m 46 and my wife is 45. We’ve been married for 15 years.
When we first got together, we were both open to sexual experiences and agreed we’d try anything once.
We went to a sex party, tried S&M, had a threesome and made love outdoors, in risky places. They were all enjoyable experiences, which brought us closer.
But the experience that turned me on more than any other was witnessing my wife have sex with someone else in front of me.
Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page or email us at:
deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk
We found a guy and brought him back to our home. He ravished my wife in front of me for hours, while I was made to sit in silence.
It seemed so taboo that it made a deep impression on me.
I’m what you might call an Alpha male - respectable and successful - so feeling humiliated and powerless was a new sensation for me.
Since then, I’ve often fantasised about what happened that night. Sometimes, I talk about it during sex, and my wife plays along, although she’s never suggested doing it again.
I really want to repeat the experience but I don’t know how to bring up the subject.
I’m worried she will think less of me as a man if she knows how much I enjoyed it.
What should I do?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s not uncommon for successful people to find being passive in sex a huge turn-on.
It’s a contrast to the pressures of your everyday life.
But you’ve built up your memory of seeing your wife have sex with another man into the perfect fantasy.
And turning fantasies into reality is often disappointing.
You’re both older, your relationship has developed, and there’s a danger that what gelled you as a young couple could push you apart.
By all means bring it up with her gently - when you’re not in the bedroom, so there’s no pressure, and she knows it’s not just sex talk.
Start by reminiscing about your youthful adventures. See how she reacts.
If she’s not keen, then think of other ways to spice up your sex life.
My support pack 50 Ways to Add Fun to Sex could be a good starting point.