I haven’t had sex with my partner since his affair. We still share a bed – but I want more

In every relationship there exists some kind of contract, usually one that is unspoken. We consider the things we expect, enjoy, dislike and resent within that relationship and decide whether we want to be in it. When things change, the balance is upset and one or both partners begins to reconsider the value of staying. Some people simply accept negative aspects such as inconsiderate behaviour, lack of sex or disloyalty. The reason can be related to feeling trapped financially, not wanting to disrupt children’s lives or being afraid of starting again. On the one hand, you say you are both comfortable living as roommates, but on the other hand you are really miserable and longing for a loving partner – and he probably is too. Don’t wait too long to decide or act. Sadly, he has withdrawn from you and I very much doubt things can be restored the way you want. Unless there is a very good reason to stay, move on and seek the happiness you deserve.