West Ham v Chelsea: Premier League – live

1 min Away we go!

I’m glad Peter Drury is back on our screens regularly. He can be a bit shticky sometimes, but he’s got personality and the ability to lift the biggest moments.

Here come our teams, West Ham led out by Kurt Zouma. Seems only a few months ago he was famed for booting cats.

“Did you really call Raheem Sterling old!?” wonders Conor Galaska. “He is more experienced than most of the rest of the XI, though you said it in the context of stamina, he is 28.”

Yes, but he’s played a lot of games and summers so I’d be surprised if he can press with the ferocity he could four years ago.

I’ve just seen an ad for chilli mayo; is it any use, or still bland as?

“I have no idea how Chelsea will fare this season,” admits Kári Tulinius. “I feel that Pochettino’s Bielsista tendencies don’t really fit his squad, but perhaps he can stir their blood and have them run their heels off.”

I’m not sure about that; looking at today’s team, only Silva and Sterling are old, so the others should have plenty of stamina and desire. They know that you only succeed in the modern game if you run hard, and that if they don’t, they’ll not be getting picked.

Pochettino tells Sky that Caicedo and Lavia arrived late, hence the former is on the bench and the latter not in the squad. He hopes his team can dominate and win.

Moyes, meanwhile, hopes Ward-Prowse adds value, and because he knows the league, is starting whereas Alvarez in sub. He was impressed with Chelsea last weekend, but hopes his team can attack them when the opportunity presents.

It is my sad duty to report that just when you thought the London Stadium couldn’t get any worse, it now has a brass band playing Sweet Caroline.

Already, Chelsea’s team has a coherent look to it. I wonder, though, if they’ll score (anywhere near) enough goals, because Jackson is young, Sterling no longer has Guardiola football creating him chances, and no one else in the side has any pedigree whatsoever in that aspect. In one-off games, though, they already look a problem.

Oh, and of course feel free to send in your own suggestions for achieving more time on this mortal coil. If we all live to 120, will we see Everton get good again?

Villa have beaten Everton 4-0. Rob Smyth has the reaction.

While blogging the London Marathon, I gave – without context as stuff was happening – some health hacks. I was justifiably rinsed for this online and I realise this reads like a dreadful LinkedIn post, but in case it’s helpful to anyone, we go again.

I don’t like vegetables and in general am unrenowned for my life-prolonging eating habits, so now try and save 10 minutes a day where I try and make that happen, running around the kitchen doing terrible thing to myself. I

- Eating kimchi. sauerkraut and nuts (brazil, walnuts, pistachios, almonds, macadamias)

- Drinking green juice because I can chuck any liquid past the taste buds (kale, spinach, ginger, turmeric, blueberries, carrots water)

- After eating, drinking water minged up with extra virgin olive oil and cider vinegar

Appalling, yes, but I hope less so than premature and avoidable death.

It’s not hard to see where the game is for West Ham: they’ll be looking double-up down the flanks, ganging up on Chelsea’s wing-backs. And if that draws the wide centre-backs out to cover, all three midfielders have the ability to make things happen … wait for it … in and around the box.

You also wonder how Paquetá will get on. He may be relieved to be on the pitch, or may have things on his mind.

That West Ham midfield has a pretty solid look to it. I wonder if Moyes has actually gone for a 4-2-3-1 formation – he’s more of a 4-2-3-1 man than a 4-3-3 man – but why sign Ward-Prowse to restrict his ability to hit crosses, stuck in front of the defence?

Villa now lead Everton 4-0 but, as I type, Philippe Coutinho is being helped off with what looks like a nasty injury.

I can’t lie, I fear for James. He’s a fantastic player and also a phenomenal athlete which is why it feels especially odd to type these words, but too much more of this and we’ll start wondering if his body will undermine what will otherwise be a brilliant career. Godspeed, old mate.

And Pochettino does likewise, the (sadly again-) injured Reece James replaced by Malo Gusto. Caicedo is on the bench.

David Moyes makes one change to the side that drew with Bournemouth, Ward-Prowse coming in for Pablo Fornals; Alvarez is on the bench.

I shall now write them down, after which we’ll discuss what we reckon they mean.

West Ham United (a possible 4-3-3): Areola; Coufal, Aguerd, Zouma, Emerson; Ward-Prowse, Soucek, Paqueta; Bowen, Antonio, Benrahma. Subs: Fabianski, Johnson, Cornet, Ings, Ogbonna, Mubama, Fornals, Cresswell, Alvarez.

Chelsea (a likely 3-5-2): Sanchez; Disasi, Colwill, Silva; Gusto, Fernandez, Chukwuemeka, Gallagher, Chilwell; Sterling, Jackson. Subs: Bergstrom, Cucurella, Mudryk, Madueke, Ugochukwu, Caicedo, Maatsen, Burstow, Humphreys.

Referee: John Brooks (Melton Mowbray)

And we’ve also got live MBM coverage of Everton’s latest triumph; they trail 3-0 at Villa with 25 still to play.

First things first: Spain shaded England in today’s World Cup final and we’ve got all the reaction.

In the summer of 2003, the world was a very different place – for reasons too depressing to enumerate. Now I realise that sounds like the start of a tweet glorifying xenophobia, homophobia, transphobia while revelling in the sheer bloody British joy of poverty, poor cuisine and being bombed. But stick with me a moment – not just because I’m obviously going to embed Crazy In Love – but because the summer of 2003 will forever be the summer of the yellow ticker.

In July 2003, Roman Abramovich bought Chelsea, a sad turning point in football. Most of us, though, were ignorant as to what was really going on and, with Sky Sports News in its golden age, found ourselves constantly looking up or flicking on to see yet another player arriving at Stamford Bridge. Look away now if you’d like to test your memory, but in ascending order of fee, the full list reads: Alexey Smertin, Glen Johnson, Joe Cole, Geremi, Wayne Bridge, Adrian Mutu, Claude Makélélé, Juan Sebastián Verón, Damien Duff and Hernán Crespo.

We may have thought such largesse was in the past … but we reckoned without the footballing genius of Todd Boehly who has, in just over a year, overseen a grand total of 59,343 new signings. For a while, the results of this policy were extremely amusing, but over the last few months, things may have changed. It now feels like so much money has been bussed on so many players – what skill! – that in among them is a good team, which Mauricio Pochettino is the right man to find. There’s a lot of work still to do, but at the most basic level, a midfield boasting both Moisés Caicedo and Enzo Fernandez makes Chelsea a hard night for anyone.

West Ham, on the other hand, have made a classic westham of this summer’s window. Though there was nothing they could do about Declan Rice’s departure, the delay in spending the proceeds undermined the ecstatic end to last season, and losing a lead late on at Bournemouth was a dispiriting way to start this – even before we mention Lucas Paquetá. But Edson Álvarez and James Ward-Prowse should be available today, and there’s little the home crowd enjoy more than sticking it to the posh lads from up west, so should be a serious tussle.

Kick-off: 4.30pm BST