I want to try a threesome – but we’d both feel uncomfortable with other partners
DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER watching The Open House, the TV show about couples who try becoming a throuple, me and my girlfriend were considering inviting another person to join our relationship.
Initially we discussed inviting a man and having a threesome.
But as a bloke, I wasn’t comfortable about exploring sex and foreplay with another man – as I’m heterosexual.
And when I suggested adding a woman, my girlfriend felt the same because she, too, is heterosexual.
But the conversation took a turn for the worse when she stated the point of a threesome was to have better sex, with someone other than your partner.
While I don’t mind the idea of opening up the relationship, I believe you shouldn’t want to have better sex or foreplay with a third party.
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You should feel sexually satisfied with your significant other.
I’m now wondering how it all would work as she would be searching for something better with someone who isn’t me.
I don’t mind her having something different, but better is taking it a step too far.
If I’d wanted better, I wouldn’t be with her, I’d be seeing someone else.
I’m not sure what to do and how to get past this.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You’re in a committed relationship and things were going well.
It makes complete sense that you wouldn’t want to explore sex and foreplay with another man.
Many men would feel exactly the same.
Now you worry you are not enough for your partner and that she will be looking out for other sexual experiences, with different men.
I encourage you to explain to her how you feel so she can reassure you this isn’t the case.
My support packs Exciting Foreplay and 50 Ways To Add Fun To Sex will help you to improve sex within your relationship.
It sounds very unlikely but, if you do decide to open up the relationship, ensure you have firm boundaries in place so neither of you feels hurt by the other partner at any point.
Opening up a relationship can be fun and thrilling but it can also be a huge risk.
I hope this advice will be of help to you.