My mum keeps trying to ruin my wedding day – how can I include her without adding more stress?

DEAR DEIDRE: AS my wedding day draws closer, everyone keeps telling my mum she “must be so proud” of me – but I think the opposite is true.

There’s no doubt about it, she keeps trying to ruin my big day.

I’m 29 and my fiancé is 30. We don’t want a huge wedding, so we’ve limited the guest list to 80 at the register office and a restaurant in town.

If I were to choose one word to describe my mum’s attitude it would be “reluctant”.

She is making a big show of being completely uninterested.

If I try to involve her in the flowers, invitations, menu, it’s all met with apathy.

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When I chose my dress, she really hurt me. I invited her to the first fitting appointment along with my bridesmaids – but she didn’t turn up.

I called her from the shop with my dress on and her answer was: “Dad is unwell, I can’t come.”

The truth is he had a cold. Later on, she told me I shouldn’t have invited the others.

She claims she doesn’t know anything about my wedding, even though I have kept her in the loop throughout.

She says she feels left out. She hasn’t spoken to me for two weeks. It is stress I don’t need.

I want my mum to be included. Is she out of order or am I in the wrong?

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