‘The Golden Bachelorette’ recap: The reality of men and women dating after 60

The TV gods have decreed that a Golden Bachelor must be followed by a Golden Bachelorette. But don’t be fooled: A reality show about a group of older women chasing after an eligible man is much more realistic than the reverse. The stakes of this show are very different; the real reality is that it is harder for senior women to find love than men of the same age.

“The Golden Bachelor” was a hit for the network and for older women who were portrayed not just as mothers and grandmothers, but also as romantic, sexy love interests for 72-year-old widower Gerry Turner. Joan left the show early to help one of her daughters dealing with postpartum issues, which took her out of the competition but made her both relatable and a fan favorite. Gerry went on to propose to 70-year-old contestant Theresa Nist: Their wedding was broadcast live in January, followed by a surprisingly abrupt divorce announcement in April.

By this point in “Bachelor” history, the real surprise is that any relationship survives after the cameras turn off. The entire process is compressed into a whirlwind of brief encounters, romantic longing and outsize emotions. (The last “Bachelorette” star, Jenn Tran, got engaged, dumped and ghosted after her season ended earlier this month; turns out her ex-fiancé was not the person she believed he was.)

But the “Golden” franchise runs on hope: hope for a another chance, hope that the right person happens to be cast on the show, hope that the final two people standing will somehow beat the “Bachelor” odds and live happily ever after.

So Joan is back, along with 24 single, age-appropriate men vying for her hand, including Mark Anderson, the father of Kelsey, who found love with “Bachelor” Joey this spring.

“This is a crazy journey, but people find love in lots of different ways,” Joan tells her suitors in the premiere. “I don’t know if I’m being naive, but I think it could really work.”

Married for 32 years and widowed in 2021, the mother of four and grandmother of three says she felt “invisible” until she went on “The Golden Bachelor.” Her selection as the first older bachelorette is supposed to be inspirational for anyone else in her strappy-gold shoes. “This journey isn’t about just me,” she says on the show. “It’s about people like me everywhere.”

One can root for Joan — brave enough to put her love life in front of millions, hope it works out — and still think this show is different from its predecessor. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, there are more women than men over 60, and that gap gets larger as they get older. The contestants on “The Golden Bachelor” went on a reality dating show because, they said, it was difficult for senior women to date, much less find a partner.

The men on “The Golden Bachelorette” are handsome, charming, fun — and looking for love and commitment. The fact of the matter is they have more options than attractive, charming women of the same age do. A 61-year-old man can date a women two decades younger and no one bats an eye; in fact, they get praise when they choose an “age-appropriate” partner. Some successful older men date and marry significantly younger women (72-year-old Bill Belichick, the former New England Patriots coach, is dating a 24-year-old), a phenomenon quite rare when the genders are reversed.

Most of the contestants vying for Joan are in their 60s. There’s Pascal, the French salon owner; Kim, a retired naval captain; Chock, an insurance executive; Guy, an ER doctor; and many more. As one contestant puts it, “Joan’s going to have her work cut out for her because there’s no shortage of stallions in the stable from which to choose.”

All in all, they seem like pretty good guys — decent, playful, self-aware. “Our brains think we’re 25,” Keith says. “Our bodies are like, ‘No, you’re not.’” Some are widowed, some are divorced, and they are open about their grief at losing a spouse or loneliness after a failed marriage.

Many say they applied for the show at the urging of their daughters who were fans of the franchise; a few are self-described girl dads. Near the end of the premiere, the cast is surprised by videos of their families sending love and encouragement; it’s very sweet and the men get teary-eyed.

Like all the “Bachelor” premieres, there are contrived gimmicks, gifts and games: One man rides up on a horse, another pulls up in a vintage station wagon, another serenades Joan with “My Way.” There’s even a group pickleball scene with balls flying everywhere. The idea is to create a good impression; the taping always takes all night and everyone is exhausted by the first rose ceremony at dawn.

Joan praises them all before the first elimination with these words of comfort: “If you leave, you will have already won. You have shown the world that you have heart and you have a sense of adventure and that you’re looking for love and you are doing it in your golden years. You’re a great example to everyone. So I have faith and my hope for you, if you go home tonight, is that you will find love because you have put it out there in a huge way.”

“The Golden Bachelor” was a hit because Bachelor Nation — especially the daughters, the sisters, the moms — believed that this might be the last shot at romance for most of the women on the show. The men on “The Golden Bachelorette” will get their 15 minutes of fame and, one presumes, lots of single older women hoping to date them when they get eliminated.

Something tells me the guys are going to be just fine.