When you're talking about wanting the ground to open up and swallow you, there's one incident that just springs to my mind constantly where I get the fear.
I was playing for Scotland Under-21s in Paisley against Northern Ireland, and it was right at the end of the game and we had battered them but it ended up being 1-1. We were breaking forward, the ref had given a foul which was never a foul, and I picked the ball up.
I went to slam it on the ground, but it had been chucking it down, and as I went to slam the ball on the ground, it came flying out of my hand and smacked the ref and I got red carded. The next day, when I was travelling down to Manchester, I'm thinking, 'That wasn't great but there won't be any problems'.
I got into training and as soon as I pulled into the training ground, one of the guys came into the changing room and said, 'The gaffer wants to speak to you'.
I went up to his office and he just tore strips off me and he said, 'If you ever think about doing something like that again, your backside will be out that door before it touches the ground'. He said, 'You represent this club and if you think you can get away with that, there's not a chance'.
And he also said 'don't ever think that I don't know what's going on [on international duty], cause I know everything that's going on.
Michael StewartPremier Sports