What is the point of the Lib Dems?

What is the point of the Liberal Democrats? Even to ask the question feels unkind, akin to asking “What is the point of kittens?” In Knighton, a small town in mid-Wales, a crowd of Lib Dem supporters have gathered to see Sir Ed Davey, the party leader, speak. They all look exactly as you would imagine. There is a lot of sensible rainwear and a good showing of beards; most look like retired maths teachers; all look like the kind of people who worry about washing their yogurt pots before recycling them. When Sir Ed appears on a bicycle and puts his legs out like Coco the Clown, the crowd, with a rustle of raincoats, clap jollily.

The niceness is not contrived. Most of their policies (less sewage, more nurses) are hard to dislike. Their battle bus—the term feels too martial; “mild disagreement” bus would feel more fitting—is nice, too. Yellow on the outside, it smells of oranges within. Even their attention-seeking is rather sweet: as well as bicycling in Wales, Sir Ed gains it by pretending to fall off a paddleboard in the Lake District and going down a water slide in Frome.

It is clear, then, that the Lib Dems are generally lovely. But even if you are extremely animated by sewage, it is not all that clear why you should vote for them—or even how hungry the party is for success.

For decades, the Lib Dems offered old-fashioned liberalism to those who wanted it. For those interested in the politics of local issues, they pioneered that. For everyone else, they offered a protest vote: they were a superior alternative to spoiling your ballot paper. Occasionally they gained large numbers of votes but these were always too thinly spread across the country, in a first-past-the-post system, for them to do anything so alarming as wield actual power. In 1992 they won 18% of the vote but just 20 seats. Then came 2010.

Each political party has endured an election so awful that it reshapes it for years to come. For Labour it was not winning power in 1992. For the Tories it was losing it in 1997. For the Lib Dems the trouble was doing too well in 2010, paving the way for a coalition with the Conservatives.

Seasoned politicians know that coalitions may seem symbiotic but are actually antagonistic. Before the election, Angela Merkel, the German chancellor, told David Cameron, the then Tory leader: “The little party always gets smashed!” After it, William Hague, another senior Tory figure, emerged from coalition negotiations and said to his wife: “I think I’ve just killed the Liberal Democrats.” The only people not seasoned enough to see all this were the Lib Dems themselves, who became wildly unpopular during their spell in power. Talk to senior Lib Dems and they use terms such as “PTSD” and “trauma” to describe their reaction to the election drubbing (they went from 57 seats to eight) that followed in 2015.

This election—which for many voters is mainly about kicking the government—should see the Lib Dems benefit from tactical voting among Labour supporters in seats where they are the main challengers to the Tories. There are plenty of votes to be had among traditional low-tax, small-c conservatives who dislike what has happened to the Tory party. But after a few years in the wilderness, voter recognition is low. While Sir Keir Starmer, the Labour leader, does interviews with Vogue (which notes his silver quiff), Sir Ed is interviewed by Nursery World and Civil Service World (which notes his interest in mutualisation).

Hence, perhaps, all the clowning around. All third parties have to be protean and be all things to all undecideds. Sir Ed has clearly decided to be all things to all picture editors, too. Clips of him faux-falling off the paddleboard were all over the news that day (even if in person, he is flintier and not quite as cuddly as his Sir Wet Suit persona might lead you to believe).

Whether this will work with the public is uncertain. In Knighton, a couple are discussing the election. They want “the Tories out” but aren’t sure if they should vote Lib Dem and can’t name the leader. Sir Ed happens to walk past and says “hello”. They don’t recognise him. When told who it is they are amused. “Ooh. They do need to raise their profile then.” Perhaps the combination of Tories and sewage will give the Lib Dems a good result. Just so long as they don’t end up in power again. ■

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