I’m terrified of meeting my younger girlfriend’s parents
DEAR DEIDRE: I’ve met the woman of my dreams but there’s a big age gap.
Now she wants me to meet her parents and I’m worried about how they’ll react.
I’m a 47-year-old woman and my girlfriend is 26. We’ve been together for three months and things have become serious fast.
I’ve had my fair share of relationships before this one but I only ever dated women around my age or older, so our connection took me completely by surprise.
We first met at a singles mixer and hit it off straight away. She was everything I had wished for in a partner, someone smart, kind, and beautiful.
While I was initially apprehensive about the age difference, the more time we spent together the harder I fell.
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Since then we’ve spent almost every day together and gone from strength to strength. Until now we’ve refrained from telling our family and friends as I’ve been worried about how they’ll react.
I know how we may be perceived and the last thing I wanted was for anything to get in the way of our relationship.
However, a couple of days ago my girlfriend told me that her parents were coming to visit and that she would really like me to finally meet them.
I know that if our relationship has any future we need to take the next step, but I’m anxious about how they’ll react.
What if they see me as some older woman who is taking advantage of their daughter?
While she keeps reassuring me that they will see how much we care for each other, I’m worried sick.
What if they can’t accept me and it ruins our relationship?
I can’t bear the thought of losing her.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: While you can’t predict how her parents will react if you want your relationship to develop, you need to be able to be open and honest.
Keeping secrets will only add to your feeling of guilt and besides, you have nothing to hide.
Many couples with an age gap often face judgement because of the negative stereotypes but as you are both adults, with enough life experience to make informed decisions, nobody else’s opinions should matter.
As long as you’re both happy and content in your relationship, her parents should hopefully see that and give you a chance.
Perhaps choosing a neutral space to meet, like a walk outside, will make the meeting feel less daunting.
Once they’ve got used to the idea, they will probably be happy that she's in a committed, stable, and loving relationship.
My support pack Age Gaps – Do They Matter? will help you think about the issues that you may have to face in the future.