I’m humiliated after my husband went for an upgrade
DEAR DEIDRE: My husband is having sex with a woman one year older than our daughter.
He has left me for her but they aren’t living together because she still lives with her parents.
The whole sorry episode is so totally humiliating. He left me nine weeks ago and I still feel as if I’m grieving.
I am 54 and my husband is 56. We have been married for 27 years. This woman is 28.
He only admitted he was leaving when I found him packing his bags.
He’d got a small flat lined up and said he “wanted to do the right thing” so was letting me stay in the family home.
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The cheek of it!
They met at our leisure centre where they both went to early morning swimming and she knew right from the start that he was married.
He has given up everything for this woman.
I have family and friends who I see most days, but I cannot shake this feeling that I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to live this life without my husband.
I am not sleeping even though I take sleeping tablets I bought over the counter.
I am awake in the early hours while terrible thoughts go round and round in my head.
It has been a very long couple of months, bringing nothing but disillusion. What can I do to move on and stop these thoughts?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You are grieving for the life, relationship and husband you have lost.
You will have imagined your future together, and now he has left, that has been shattered.
It would be wrong to pretend recovery can be quick and easy, but it can happen if you focus on taking it a day at a time.
It is entirely normal to feel utterly betrayed and broken.
And, understandably, sometimes the pain feels so bad, not being here feels like the only way forward. But there is hope. See your GP and explain how you feel and think about seeing a counsellor.
My support pack How Counselling Can Help explains more.
It is early days so be patient and allow yourself time to heal.
You are fortunate to have a strong friendship network so do lean on them for encouragment and comfort.
My support pack Mend Your Broken Heart will help you to pick up the pieces.