When the man I married turned into an abuser, you helped me stand up to him

DEAR DEIDRE: THE man I married turned into an abuser. 

He was lovely when we met, but became someone I didn’t recognise - someone who constantly put me down and screamed at me in public.

I’m 47 and he’s 50.

I’m disabled and he called me a cripple, criticising me for not being able to contribute. He wouldn’t even pay for the brand of biscuits I like. 

He said humiliating me was the only way I’d change.

I felt so trapped and unhappy that I wrote for advice.

You sent me your Abusive Partner support pack and told me to confide in someone I trusted. 

I spoke to my best friend, who gave me an escape plan. 

The next time my husband abused me, I packed my bags and told him I was leaving.

He was shocked and begged me to stay, saying he would change.

I decided to give him another chance, but made it clear I would go if he got nasty again.

Things have improved. Standing up to him really made a difference.

Thank you Deidre for your concern and understanding.

DEIDRE SAYS: I hope there will be a permanent change and it’s good you still have your plan in place.

But he may need professional help.