My cheating girlfriend sent sexy holiday selfies and offered to show her ex her ‘white bits’
DEAR DEIDRE: I was horrified to discover that my girlfriend had sent a message to her ex, offering to show him her ‘white bits’ after her holiday.
Now I’ve learned they’ve been sending sexts and naughty photos to each other, and even meeting up.
I’m 32 and she’s 29. We’ve been together for two years and I really love her.
We used to have sex all the time. But over the past few months, I’ve noticed that she’s cooled towards me, especially when it comes to sex.
One night, a couple of weeks ago, we were in bed, touching each other intimately and both enjoying it a lot, when she suddenly stopped and turned over.
It didn’t make any sense and her excuse - that she was tired - didn’t ring true. It felt more like she’d suddenly changed her mind.
It bothered me but she wouldn’t discuss it.
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Then, last weekend, while she was asleep, a message flashed up on her phone, which she’d left by the bed.
I recognised it was from a guy she’d had a short relationship with before she met me.
In the message he asked when she was free because he’d like to -nudge, nudge, wink, wink - give her his ‘very big present’.
It made me feel sick, especially as she’s always said she’s never cheated on anyone and is against it.
I managed to get into her phone and found several exchanges, including one where she’d sent him a sexy picture of herself.
He’d complimented her on her post-holiday tan, and she replied that she couldn’t wait to show him her white bits.
As far as I can tell, they haven’t met up yet, but I feel it’s only a matter of time. She didn’t shut him down or tell him she’s in a relationship.
It’s eating me up inside, but I don't know how to talk to her about this.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You need to have a frank talk with her, even if it won’t be easy and means you hear things you don’t like.
Sexting another man isn’t right, even if she is only flirting and has no intention of physically cheating.
You’re concerned there is a gap opening up between you and you won’t be able to bridge this unless you can work through what is going on. Tell her you’re worried and ask her to be honest.
My support pack, Standing Up For Yourself, should help you to have this conversation.