I had to learn to talk and move again after my breakdown, says Rylan Clark – it was as if I’d had a stroke
RYLAN Clark has revealed how he rebuilt the foundations of his life after the breakdown he suffered in the aftermath of his split from ex-husband Dan Neal.
The popular TV star, 35, had to learn to walk and talk again in 2021 and likened his condition to having suffered a stroke.
Those dark days seem like a lifetime ago now, with Rylan back at the top of his game having made £2.5m in the past year.
Reflecting on his lowest moments in an interview with the Guardian, Rylan said: "I couldn’t understand why I pressed the nuclear button on my seemingly perfect life.
"And it’s only now I’m better that I realise it was the ejector seat I needed. Now I just wish I’d pressed that escape button earlier.
"I got so ill to the point where I knew I couldn’t get any iller. I couldn’t speak; I had to learn to speak again, I had to learn to move again - it was like I’d had a stroke. Nothing made sense to me."
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His very career was at risk as not only did he not have control of his faculties, but he couldn't bear to watch TV or listen to music - the two mediums he works on.
In the aftermath of his break up, Rylan even tried to take his own life.
In his memoir Ten: The Decade That Changed My Future, Rylan wrote: “For the first time in my 32 years, I felt I couldn’t carry on no more.
“‘What’s the point?’ I thought. I’d lost what I thought was everything, the one thing I always wanted. A man I loved. A family of my own. And now it was gone.
“So I tried to end it. I won’t go into detail as I don’t think it’s fair on my mum, but thank God I was unsuccessful.”
The Supermarket Sweep host admitted he had no excuse for cheating on his ex, bringing to an end their six year marriage.
But he explained the events that led to it, revealing his growing fame drove a wedge between them.
He said: “I think for many years I had felt a bit like an impostor. That nothing I was doing was right or not quite good enough.
“There were times when people told me this, and so confirmed my own self-doubts.
“And you know, when it’s those closest to you giving you this feedback, of course you take it to heart.
“Similarly, someone loving me this way was all I had ever wanted and now I’d found it.
“The reality is that over the course of my relationship I had started to feel wrong: I felt I was wrong for being successful, wrong for being me.”
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If you are affected by any of the issues raised in this article, please call the Samaritans for free on 116123.