DEAR DEIDRE: When I said I didn’t want another baby until our relationship improves my partner went into a full-blown rage.
He works away most of the time on the oil rigs. He is 38 and I’m 35. He’s a good dad when he’s here but most of the time, I feel like a single parent.
I had postnatal depression after our little one was born and my partner only stayed a week at home. I was left to cope.
He comes home and all he wants is sex. If I refuse him, I get the big sulk which can last days.
He doesn’t trust me. If I arrange to go out while he’s away, he contacts my friends to check that I’m with them.
He thinks I cheat on him but I don’t. It’s caused such arguments, so when he said he wanted a baby brother or sister for our toddler, I said no.
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I feel things between us are toxic right now.
He loves our little boy but he doesn’t help me with DIY or general chores. I don’t think this is the right time to bring another baby into our family.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You’re right. A child deserves two loving parents, not two warring ones.
People often think that a baby will paper over the cracks in a relationship but the stress caused with deprivation of sleep and a diminished bank balance can drive a wedge between the strongest of couples.
Give a child the best start in life by making your relationship as good as it can be.
Tell your partner that you need more emotional support and a better understanding about your sex life – when you say no, it doesn’t mean that you don’t love him.
There’s no shame in asking for help so find couples counselling locally or contact the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (bacp.co.uk, 01455 883 300).