My husband pays for my surgery, Chanel obsession & nearly all our bills – I only do council tax, trolls say he ‘owns’ me
As I ask my husband to transfer the £50 he owes me into my bank account, it strikes me that perhaps there’s little point, after all we are married now.
And yet we continue to diligently split the cost of the bills and mortgage, as well as alternating the nights we buy and cook dinner, in the same way we share our other chores.
We have no plans to stop, and I also have no plans to open a joint bank account with him.
Not because I’m worried or don’t trust him, but because I just don’t see the point.
I make my own money, so does he, and neither of us is in a position to need to prop the other up.
My parents have been married nearly 40 years and still don’t have a single joint account, so I’m sure that’s informed my decision.
As a woman, I think it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that your husband has to have a mega salary, pay for dinners out and buy you fancy presents.
Yes the gender pay gap is very real, but in a year and country where more women than men go to uni, and where both parents work in 74% of families, isn’t the idea your husband should fill the bill rather old fashioned?
My grandad used to pay his wife a monthly allowance, in the form of wads of cash she’d use to do the supermarket shop, buy cleaning essentials and yes, treat herself too.
But I never aspired to be a stay-at-home mum (not that I judge those who do) and I’m proud to have my own money.
Of course it’s not wholly ‘mine’ anymore, what’s mine is yours after all, but that doesn’t mean I need to open my bank account up.
We’re very open about money and never hesitate to fork out on the other’s behalf, but I think it’s quite nice to be able to decide what you spend your hard-earned cash on and where your savings go, without feeling like anyone’s watching over your shoulder.
Money spells independence, my days of penny-pinching while working on a local paper for a measly £16.5k a year, in London I might add, taught me that.
So when it comes to the boring stuff, we’ll continue to go halves, but it won’t come out of the same bank account.
By Josie Griffiths, deputy digital Fabulous editor