I won’t step foot in my house when my ‘messy’ in-laws stay, they say I’m ‘abusive’ for refusing to clean up after them

A DISGRUNTLED wife has shared her frustration with her husband's family and the state of the couple's home when they visit.

She admitted that she opts to stay elsewhere when they come, but the in-laws called her "abusive" and more for not being around to clean the "messy" home.

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Reddit user Adept-Entrepreneur44 took to the platform to gauge opinions about her behavior concerning her husband's family.

In a lengthy post on the platform, she detailed the situation and explained why she was upset with her partner and in-laws.

"When his parents visit and give us s**t for 'forcing' our kids to do chores, he gives in and the house slowly becomes a mess that I have been left to clean up," she wrote at the start.

She asked if she was in the wrong for choosing to stay with her parents and refusing to come home whenever they were in town.

"I lock my office up and go to my parents' house. I meet up with his family at restaurants or other public places," she divulged.

She then added that when his siblings visit she is also expected to clean up after them, which she said she never agreed to.

Since her non-violent protest, his parents have learned now that "when they visit they have to clean up after the kids" or do it themselves.

She also revealed that they tried saying she was "abusive for refusing to do any housework while they visited."

The wife had a smart way of addressing the issue and raised it with the family members.

She detailed: "I posted a picture of my home before they came and one I took during their last visit. I asked them why the house was so messy and dirty and if they had anything to do with it."

As expected, the in-laws said it wasn't their mess, and she replied saying that the house was clean before they showed up.

They ended up throwing her children under the bus, which the Reddit user was not okay with.

"They said my kids were uncontrollable and it was their mess. I pointed out that there was no mess until they came so obviously my kids were able to clean up after themselves," she wrote.

As a result of her standing her ground, her husband's siblings canceled their plans to visit during the holidays because they knew she wouldn't cook or clean.

"My husband says that I'm being unfair putting all the work of cleaning up on him. I said he has two children to help him as well as adult guests who should be able to not make a mess," she detailed.

She mentioned in an additional comment that she does not come back home until it is in the condition it was before they visited.

This causes her to spend a few extra days away while he cleans or hires a service after her husband allows them to "run roughshod."

In the end, her husband said she was "mean" by not contributing and making him spend his own money on the venture.

"I might be the a**hole for refusing to be a dutiful hostess and put up with their bullshit," she admitted in a comment.

She was praised by readers on the site for her bold behavior and most deemed her "not the a**hole," also known as NTA.

"Nta at all. Your solution is so good," a reader commented.

Another wrote: "She’s an absolute genius."

"NTA. Actually, your way of handling this is brilliant. The rules should clearly be that all adults pick up after themselves as a matter of course," another Reddit user chimed in.