DEAR DEIDRE: THE woman I’m with can’t decide what she wants.
One minute I’m in the friend zone and the next we are having hot sex.
I have known her for two years and during this time we’ve become extremely close.
We regularly spend time together. She has a son aged three and I love hanging out with him, too.
I read him stories, cook for him and put him to bed – all the things a father does.
I’m 34 and my friend is 31. I admitted how I felt about her but she said she had no sexual attraction towards me.
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Then a few months later we’d had a great day and she told me she has feelings for me.
We ended up having sex. She then told me she loved me but a few days later turned cold again.
I sometimes think it’s a game she plays or she simply doesn’t know what she wants. I feel really hurt and confused.
I am trying my hardest to support both of them the best I can, but sometimes I feel that no matter what I do, it isn’t enough.
I’ve asked her why she sleeps with me occasionally if she doesn’t have feelings for me.
She says she feels comfortable around me and I’m brilliant with her son.
DEIDRE SAYS: She is treating you as a glorified babysitter. You deserve better than this.
Your friend is using you. Ask yourself why, if you get on so well and clearly enjoy sex together, she has never wanted a proper relationship.
She may have had a bad past relationship which may explain why she’s unable to form a close and trusting bond with you.
A really good friend wouldn’t treat you like this. She sounds very self-centred.
If she’s only offering friendship, with occasional sex and knows you want more, then she’s not for you. Get out and socialise again.