My brother was widowed, his kids hate his new wife & I’m not shocked, he only told them about the wedding a month before
A CONCERNED woman revealed she had a heated argument with her brother after commenting on his parenting.
She explained that her brother’s children have become withdrawn since he remarried following the death of their mom.
The sibling penned a lengthy post on Reddit revealing her brother Frank, who is in his 40s, remarried four years after his first wife’s death.
He has three children a daughter aged, 14, and two sons 13, and 10, while his new wife Emily has a son from a previous relationship age nine, and custody of her stepdaughter, 12.
The woman explained the couple started dating just before the height of the pandemic and Frank kept it a secret from his children until two months before they were set to wed.
Within a month, Emily’s children moved into the family home and the lovers tied the knot.
"It was a month later he announced he was getting married and Emily and her kids were moving in," she wrote.
“Frank's kids have adapted worse than Emily's kids.
“The kids have refused to take part in family activities, distant and cold with Emily and her kids.
“They have yelled at my brother multiple times, accusing him of replacing their mom and saying f**k Emily, they don't care about Emily, they don't want Emily, etc.
“Frank, Emily, and his kids have started attending family counseling (sevenish months or so now).
“They have seen three therapists thus far because the kids would ‘sit and sulk’ per Frank's own words.
“They would not open up or engage and each time the therapist ends up just talking to Frank and Emily.
“Frank started to complain about how mad the kids were at him. He said they were selfish for expecting him to stay single for the rest of his life.
“He said he's tired of them making no effort to make the blended family work.
“He said he hates how they work against it and hates how people treat him like he made a mistake when he remarried.
“He wanted to know if he wasn't entitled to his happiness, etc.”
The woman said she had listened to her brother vent about his situation countless times before he asked for her opinion.
She reassured her brother that there was nothing wrong with remarrying but took issue with how he told his kids.
“I told him most kids will struggle with the idea of their parent moving on after divorce or the death of their parent,” she said.
“That's why people usually spend years dating and getting the kids adjusted so they have time to process and work through their feelings.
“I said dating and letting everyone get to know each other and helping the kids through is the best way to make a blended family.
“He got mad at me and told me he shouldn't have to adjust his timeline for anyone, not even his kids.”
The woman revealed her brother’s fury worsened when she compared his situation to the possibility of their dad dating.
Frank told her that there was “no way” their dad would want to date someone else despite 30 years having passed since their mom’s death.
“He told me it's not the same and he's not judging our dad, but I'm judging him and that makes me an a**hole,” she added.
She asked the forum if she had said anything wrong to make him react with such anger.
Commenters admitted they were unsure if the children would’ve behaved differently if they had been told about the relationship sooner.
However, they agreed Frank’s behavior was inconsiderate and advised the woman to support her niece and nephews.
One person wrote: “Frank sounds incredibly self-centered. It's all about how he feels it seems.
“The very idea of his father dating after being alone for decades is offensive, but his kids need to get with the program as he goes pedal to the metal announcing dating to marriage and everyone moving in all over the period of a couple of months.
“NTA [not the a**hole] he needs a wake-up call but it sounds like one will never get through to him.
“You told him when asked. You didn't even stick your nose in. He can't complain about hearing your opinion.”
Another commented: “He's only angry with you because he knows you’re right especially after giving him that example. Not the AH [a**hole].”
A third added: “My mom had his attitude and that's why I haven't allowed her in my life in 20 years.
“I hope he bonds with his stepkids because his own kids may kick him to the curb.”
